My head is a total blank.
I cried myself to sleep last night after we found out that we had lost the debating championships quarter finals to Pioneer Secondary School. Yes, I was that sad.
I didn't cry last year when we lost, but how can I not cry when we lost again this year for the exact same reason? Dumb judges.
There are so many reasons why I'm feeling so damn depressed.
1. I no longer have nothing to look forward to after school hours anymore, which would get me through unbearable classes like Chinese.
2. We lost on the same day that we announced our huge victory over the other schools in the 'B' division.
3. I wanted to prove to everyone that debate was a meaningful activity and that the dumb school should make it a CCA to help poor deprived kids like me who like public speaking and are going to enter this school only to join something that they don't even like.
4. I really wanted to win the championships.
5. We wouldn't have lost if I had given a little more of my best.
6. We probably aren't going to see Miss Meen after the 18th of April, which is the finals.
It has only been 2 months but it was the best time of my 15 years in this world so far. I don't recall ever feeing that happy being around so many funny people who could make me laugh so hard no matter what. The memories that I have of you guys are honestly going to lead me through my entire life. I have learned loads about debating, character and the world. This has definitely been better than any other workshop I'll ever attend. Also, even though it has only been that long, Miss Meen has become one of my most closest, trusted friends. And I know that if it weren't for her, we probably wouldn't even make the top 8 schools. So, school, make debate a CCA! Miss Meen suggested that we join other debating competitions instead of just Julia Gabriel's. If we do, I really hope that we could get her help again.
Maybe she could come back next year to coach us again. I really hope she could. But please put your career first before us! Oh, and just drop me a line every now and then just to let me know that you're fine, ok? 'Cause we'll miss you so much.
It's a good thing she lives so close to the school. Maybe we could visit her sometime.
After brooding for so long, I rearranged some of the lyrics from Carrie Underwood's 'Don't Forget To Remember Me'. It has the same tune too! Well, basically its most of my feelings after these two months in a song, but it's not the best piece of literary work.
.
Don't Forget To Remember Me
These two months have come and gone
It should have taken two weeks more
And not just left here all alone
We were eating by that restaurant
I was trying not to cry
I just gave up talking
Putting off goodbye
And she looked at us and said
'Hey, don't forget'
.
Before next year's season
You better get prepared
They sell Almanacs at Borders
You can get a copy there
Here's some tips and here's a casebook
If you ever have a thought
Just one more thing before you leave:
Don't forget to remember me
.
With nothing great to look forward to
I drag my weary legs to school
And these piles and piles of homework
How to do them, I haven't a clue
And just like every Friday
I drop a message off at night
And even when you ask
I just say everything's all right
Before I broke off I said:
'Hey, don't forget'
.
The times when we were laughing
The times when we were glad
And the times that led to tears
But then they weren't all that bad
And don't forget that come what may
That you're always welcome here
'Cause I feel that this was not supposed to be
So don't forget to remember me
.
Tonight I find myself shedding tears from yesterday
Its been weeks since we last met
So I don't know what to say
But then I feel so small sometimes
In this big old place
And there may be more important things
But don't forget to remember me
Don't forget to remember me.